Surviving Diotrephes; closer and healing.
God Saved Us from the Attack; He is wise and powerful.
What we share happened in 2021-22. We have since moved on, been healed, and blessed by the EastCoast Church of Christ. Our experience was not in vain; throughout the years, many have reached out to us, connecting with other victims and sharing our accounts to bring awareness to others in the same situation. We do have audio, video, and witnessed evidence (if ever it needed to be brought into account).
For years, we’ve remained publicly silent while our slanderers did not. We had a justified defence but chose to wait; perhaps we should not have. The damage of the abuse was profound and kept us fearful of speaking or trusting anyone. And so the divisive party were first to establish their account. But the insight of inspired text would teach us courage; “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.” - Pro. 18:17.
We share accurate information written in 2022. Still, since updated, to raise awareness of individual types, one must avoid, at all costs, individuals with a long resume of lies and division in the church (Rom. 16:17-18).
First and foremost, we take this opportunity to thank you for the love and support that has gone towards keeping the Maillet Household fed and working for Christ, resulting in growth. You are our spiritual Family, and you are appreciated and prayed for. We love you and thank God daily for your understanding and discernment; we know you also love and trust us.
We will be sharing a hefty burden with you. Something spiritually tragic had happened to our Family and the efforts of our previous work in this Province.
If my wife and I would be here this hour with battered, bruised, and bloody faces, this would be much quicker and easier to explain, having been physically assaulted. However, the abuse that had taken place is divisively covert. Using manipulation involving slander and betrayal, we found ourselves abused and in such a state that it became easy to go along with whatever the manipulators wanted. This sin resulted in the uncertainties, damage, and chaos we endured.
Please give us the time necessary to explain. We trust that you have the faith to discern the recorded account’s truth, sincerity, and honesty. Perhaps you’ve also experienced it (or have heard of similar cases). But we know the reality: Some brethren will never choose to understand how profound this sin is and will continue to encourage and support evil masquerading as “sound gospel preaching.”
What happened to the Maillet family and our previous labor is not unique. Being the victims of unrighteous hate has occurred in the church since John wrote his 3rd letter to Gaius regarding Diotrephes. (Yes, we have tried to reach out, they refused. Yes, we love them and pray for their repentance, they refused.)
Two individuals who came to our shores in September 2021 fraudulently took advantage of our friendship. They did so through evil works (Phil. 3:2).
We’re going to explain to you how this took place in an orderly manner throughout the months, having my wife and me loyal to a supposed “friendship,” which resulted in isolating us, having us doubt our sanity, and having us sick and socially withdrawn.
An individual brother and his wife had yet again been fired from a previous job we had helped them acquire and were now seeking another location to labor. We (my wife & I) lovingly invited them to this challenging congregation, understanding that they would have to raise their support (being a mission field) and also that they would need legal documents to remain in Canada as American citizens.
Sadly, shortly after arriving, a few days in, they changed their character and began to distance themselves from our supposed “friendship.” They began to cut our interactions and forcibly control a designed division in the Maillet family, creating a wedge between congregation members. This was abuse that even reached our children, sadly.
Throughout the months, these supposed “friends” began to demand and take control of the work instead of labouring alongside the rest. Behind the curtains, harsh criticisms, heavy-handed orders, condemnations, bullying threats, and intimidation against any reasonable conversation took place. Accusations against the Maillet family were secretly being infused in all congregants who could be quickly devoured. Both manipulating us through the Bible and the mind, they began to create a narrative that the Maillet family was the problem with the congregation. They convinced me we were at fault and that the church needed their expertise to fix the problem. Apparently, according to their allegations, the assembly was headed in the wrong direction at the hands of the Maillet family. This, of course, was a lie. The church was growing, not perfect, but continuously moving forward. Not because of the “Maillet’s,” but rather because of God’s grace and those faithful in the fold working together for the greater good of the Kingdom. Over a decade of ministry, my wife and I dedicated ourselves to the work of this local congregation and my mother and father several more before us.
The list of malicious accusations brought forth to me throughout the months was that I was clinically: “Insane, Paranoid, Narcissist, oppressive, Abusive, and Toxic. We, the Maillet family, were guilty of Holding the church back and pushing people away.” And when we asked for specific things we had done to be accused of such titles, no answers were given other than more fabricated accusations. I came to find out that this has been a repetitive pattern with all the relationships and congregations Diotrephes and his wife had dismantled. We speak of a recorded decade of broken families, marriages, friendships, and churches.
This manipulative abuse had us questioning our sanity, asking ourselves, “Why would our supposed friends say such things? What motive would they have to say such things? Are we truly guilty of all these unnamed accusations?” And so, questioning our reality and faith, we began to be isolated, withdrawn, and uncertain of everything, even voicing our need to leave this work as a result of the abuse. Undoubtedly, this furnished their advantage in further control of the congregation. And when we sought to make this known publicly, we were coerced into submission, being told “we’d be guilty of creating division” among the people we loved and have been ministering to for decades. And so, still manipulated under their control, we remained silent. These evil workers had been recruiting a cabal of malicious intent to take leadership during these months.
Only now, having healed, do we realize that none of what they were manipulating us with was, in fact, reality (despite our shortcomings, which we all have and try to work on each day). Instead, we began to awaken to the truth that they were objectively guilty, projecting everything they accused us of being. But how does one challenge a self-professed “scholar” (in his own mind) and his wife, a “therapist” (one whom is currently facing public disciplinary judgments for unethical practices) telling us we are too “unlearned” to understand their “intelligent expertise?” You can’t. They continually “win” the argument by perverting the narrative and using everything you say against you to their advantage.
Everything we had ever shared in confidence (6 years worth) with these supposed “friends” had been used against us with embellishments and lies. Making the congregation believe that we were monsters filled with sickness, hidden sins, and secret criminal intent.
We trusted these people so much we even had them as the primary caregivers to our children if we ever had an untimely death. We gave these individuals thousands of money supported by our online work, not because we could afford it but because we were sincerely trying to be good and faithful servants to “friends in need.” We had given them our total loyalty, trusting everything they said, unknowingly believing their cunning lies.
Numerous demands had occurred throughout the months, preventing us from doing our faithful work and seeking to remove me from my addedSOULS ministry (this chronological list is available upon request). Ultimately, they created a situation that would force our removal from that local congregation altogether, which of course was the intent from the beginning.
And what brought all of this to its inevitable end took place Saturday, May 7th, and Sunday, May 8th. On Saturday, May 7th, my wife and I had to privately approach my brother and his wife about a misunderstanding. My brother’s wife has had behavioural delinquencies for decades (i.e., pride and control, bitterness, self-righteousness, ghosting, etc). Though she’s always refused to accept them, it is well known in the Family and the congregation, even admitted and forewarned by her own mother, but it was kept private and manageable. She got deeply offended when we humbly and lovingly shared her need to change her behavioural delinquency, but the flattery of evil workers emboldened her to remain defiant. We left their house to allow them to speak to each other as husband and wife. Shortly after our departure, we were contacted to meet them again. We were informed that the two individuals (the “scholar” and the “therapist”) were present before our arrival. And the ambush became very clear. The “therapist” showed her true colours, became unhinged, immediately placed blame on us and repeated their accusations, affirming the unrighteous attack. These witnesses were corrupt, and the trial was not fair; instead, it was biased and already agenda-driven. And because of the many years we thought they were our “friends,” they utilized the personal concerns we had shared with them, embellished, and at times lied regarding the behavioral delinquencies of my brother’s wife, having her “justified” to their manipulation. We sought to lovingly and Scripturally remedy the situation within the confines of a family unit, but it was hijacked for selfish ambition.
During the onslaught’s final blow against us, we broke down, and my wife began to weep and request that we please leave. While mentally battered, bruised, and bloody, they proceeded to kick us further down by informing us that we would no longer be fit to teach and that the church would be made known on Sunday.
In a challenging situation, my blood brother chose to become an empty vessel and side with them cowardly, bare false witness against us, convincing himself of his position. He had lost his person many years prior at the hands of his controlling wife. And here’s the key to this account: my blood brother was conveniently the church treasurer. I never had access to the treasury, I never wanted it, everything deposited into the collection plate was from my personal support and the collective donations of the congregation. You see, these corrupt individuals needed the church to legally pay them to have documents presented, which would make them permanent citizens of this Canadian Country and in complete control of the church, taking preeminence, all paid by the church and solicited support. It was a cunning move to devour my brother and his wife, it “paid off” for them.
On Sunday, May 8th, my wife and I, devastated, broken, and uncertain, remained at home to worship God with our children, begging forgiveness for being so blind to what had been taking place for so long. While at the local congregation, my brother and this individual stood before the members and, in so many words, said, “Stephane will no longer be teaching, and to save face, we will keep the matter private until further notice.” (We have audio recording and witness report). None of the men were involved in this decision and should have been. And when they tried to inquire? They were immediately shut down. Nothing of these matters took place scripturally as per Matthew 18:15-20. And because there was no motive for our removal, Diotrephes and his devoured loyalists bore false witness and created such a lie that it wouldn’t matter what evidence we had to refute the allegations; the lie itself would always have a stain on our integrity.
On Monday, May 9th, 2022, my wife and I notified my brother that we would no longer be members of the said congregation. This resulted from all that had taken place for months, and we told him we sought a peaceful transition to other work. They, in turn, spoke to the congregation with many slanderous accusations against us, having the members question our integrity and withdraw their fellowship from us. The low-hanging fruit embraced the lies; some worldly members had bitter emotions against us for many years and so quickly devoured (we should have removed fellowship from them a very long time ago). Yet more than half were faithful and reached out to us, remembering our love, knowing there was a problem; they soon chose to follow Jesus along with us.
* This was the first of two “splits” (and other members leaving afterwards) from the exact location thus far. The other took place a couple of years after ours, and they, too, have witnesses and written accounts available upon request.
Sadly, what was a growing church with decades of complex challenges had turned into a cult-like situation, governed by a cabal of heavy-handed rule, where subordinates are being made to follow the corrupt leadership unthinkingly, not permitted to hear our account, nor permitted to question the narrative, no evidence of their accusations given. And if you dare question and oppose, you will become the next victim labeled with all sorts of wicked words. It got so bad that we were not even permitted to purchase any gifts for other brethren without their taking control of it.
Elderly and sick, my father’s faith had fallen over this chaos, and my mother was devastated and discouraged; they had lost a congregation and a son in the process (he has refused to speak to his parents without his furor present. It has been years, spite loving attempts. Is that truly the love of Christ?).
Through the grace of God, my wife and I restored Mom and Dad (along with each other) after we began to connect the dots, remove ourselves from the spell, and discern the attack taking place. My father and mother had seen these issues many months prior and tried to warn us, but my loyalty to a supposed “friendship” had me against my parents’ better judgment and wisdom (Diotrephes knew that and used it to his advantage). I begged forgiveness, and we wept, embraced, prayed, and renewed our hearts together.
The individuals in question systematically manipulated the church upon taking advantage of our friendship to attack, divide, and remove the Maillet Family unrighteously (and all others in months following). And anyone who dares oppose them will be removed next (such has since been proven true). They have practiced self-righteousness, hypocrisy, bold-faced lies, false teachings, prideful ambitions, bitterness, discord, fault-finding, binding opinion, and manipulation under the banner of “righteousness.” And if you take the time to look back at the other congregations they previously worked at, this has unfortunately been the pattern for them, leaving folks afraid to speak out. Leaving a trail of dismantling and pain, with no growth whatsoever, only depletion.
Again, we were blinded by our loyalty to their friendship, casted our pearls before swine, and have been begging God for forgiveness for lack of discernment regarding this spiritual threat. I will have to live with this regret for the rest of my life, where decades of sacrifice are now at the hands of corrupt brethren, a church that no longer belongs to Christ and brings reproach to His name in the community. And because the congregation had no elders and was in the middle of a mission field, it was most expedient for these wolves to take control.
The motives of such evil workers are straightforward: A rightly handled Luke 11:52’s lawyers with 3rd John’s Diotrephes. “Taking away the key knowledge from the members and hindering those entering. All this is to be first among them. He was unjustly accusing us of wicked words. Not receiving the brethren. Forbidding those who do and Puts them out of the church.” They are indeed what Paul cautioned us about; “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”
Diotrephes and his wife are filled with jealousy, bitterness, greed, pride, and control. But they conceal these iniquities through cunning deception. To this day, they continue to portray a false image through their social media platforms, secretly controlling the narrative, framing us as the guilty party, bringing in brethren from America to justify their lies while whispering slanderous accusations against us and all others they’ve since pushed out. They have played the “struggling victims” role and persuaded some like-minded wickedness. They masquerade their work as fruitful and growing but in reality have squandered everything, brought reproach to the name of Jesus, and are colossal failures. But all of this injustice will end one Day, as God is our witness.
That was the sin that had taken place against God, the Maillet family, and our previous work. But we cannot have anything but love for God, it is not the fault of our King, for just when devils had almost managed to push us out of the Province into another land, God planted His EastCoast church of Christ, to be the faithful source of Gospel in this location, meeting in our homes, healthy and growing.
(we’ve since doubled in numbers since this picture was taken)
We have continued healing from the abuse, meeting for bible studies, worship, evangelistic efforts, benevolence, and developing the addedSOULS online ministry. We don’t know how to do anything but proclaim Christ to this dying world (1 Cor. 2:2). It has been our identity since June 26th, 2011. And though we’ve questioned our faith going through such difficult times, the inspired words of Peter kept us focused, “Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)
Like you, we are hard workers, structured and disciplined, and your understanding has comforted us in the days ahead; being transparent with you has been necessary and honest. We stand before God in His court truthful to the account revealed.
Many other members, even after we had withdrawn, have been pushed out, and they all have the same witness and experience. We seek no retaliation or revenge, nor will we utilize the same vindictive tactics as these individuals. God and His coming justice comforts us.
This witnessed account is co-signed by numerous credible brethren, elderships, congregations, who had significant concerns about Diotrephes and his wife before their arrival. Some of these friends and supporters have visited us before and love us very much.
Our conscience must once again explain that what has happened here is not a mere misunderstanding or disagreement. We’ve always been genuine and authentic with our struggles and repented of any sin that would damage our soul or the church. We are not above rebuke. I’ve wept before my fellow saints numerous times. Making it to heaven has been our most important priority since June 26th, 2011.
Annik and I had been faithful to the work of our previous congregation for 11 years (even while Stateside). My parents had been faithful there for 40, and other families with us now, had for 20. Throughout the years, the grace of God had humbled us and brought the church from a wrong place to a healthy and growing culture for Christ—many trials and challenges. Spite a few worldly-minded brethren always in the fold (again, to which we should have withdrawn from a long time ago), who sadly had been encouraged in their behavioural delinquencies by the evil workers.
Our account’s objective and absolute reality is that we love these brethren, and they chose to take advantage of that. We had them in our home, on holidays, and Testament as primary caregivers to our children if ever we had an untimely death. We fully trusted our loyalty to them—years of cultivating our relationship. Even from our support, we gave them donations out of pure motives to help. We prayed for them fervently and facilitated their previous work, and once they were fired, we proceeded to bring them here out of sacrificial love.
We never wanted to leave our previous work; we would build a school, grow the church, and live our dying days in this effort with our Family and friends. Many of you have witnessed our progress online, the time, finances, and efforts we had put into the mission. Have we been discouraged and entertained by other work? Who hasn’t? Preachers and their wives go through much persecution and uncertainty during ministry. But the abuse, manipulation, pride, selfish ambitions, baseless accusations, hypocrisy, betrayal, divisive actions, wicked words, and bold-faced lies have forced us to leave. We could not remain with corrupt, deceptive, and unscriptural practices any longer to appease the ego and control of bullish individuals who utilize psychological word salads and pharisaical maneuvers to place blame on the integrity of the innocent. We moved forward away from toxic and slanderous attacks, sociopaths. We’ve hurt enough; our children have hurt enough. We have wept our fill. We have moved on.
We find contentment waiting for the Day of our Lord when all things will be revealed, as God is our witness. Till then, we will continue with the gospel work and look at the future of His Kingdom. We’ve come to peace with the great sin against us; Christ is our comfort. Our Family has healed and grown, now within the freedom of the EastCoast church of Christ. Time has revealed how much of a blessing it has been to be removed from all who were vain, idle, and worldly. God separated us from those who had always been a delinquency in the church. It is incredible how all who willfully came to hear our account and stay with us were faithful members of the congregation; it is remarkable, indeed.
We’ve been transparent with you. As God is our witness.
We love you and will continue to pray for you.
We appreciate your continued prayers.
May God bless you in sharing this burden with us (Gal. 6:2).
Your humble servants,
The Maillet Family.